Decree to FAKE otthunderdome

[Salamander Pinkman]

I would like to clarify some comments I made recently regarding fake otthunderdome. Let me get to the crux of the matter: Although I disapprove of what fake otthunderdome says, I will defend to the death its right to say it. Or, at a minimum, I'll teach even refractory, egocentric despots about our nation's core values and ideals, including courage, honor, honesty, religious freedom, and individual rights. Okay, that's not quite the same as “defending to the death,” but at least it demonstrates that I have one itsy-bitsy problem with fake otthunderdome's claims. Videlicet, they have a serious destabilizing effect on our institutions. And that's saying nothing about how it once tried convincing me that it's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. Does it think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that fake otthunderdome not only lies but brags about its lying to its intimates.


By writing this letter, I am indubitably sticking my head far above the parapet. The big danger is that fake otthunderdome will retaliate against me. It'll most likely try to force me to drink the phthartic poison of adversarialism although another possibility is that it's its belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to discredit and intimidate the opposition. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such an antihumanist idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that the key to fake otthunderdome's soul is its longing for the effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. It dreads the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, the pen is a powerful tool. Why don't we use that tool to make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change?


In spite of all fake otthunderdome has done, I must admit I really like the organization. No, just kidding. The truth is that fake otthunderdome's latest diatribe is fake otthunderdome-style lunacy at its very finest. Every despicable word of that diatribe paints a perfect picture of fake otthunderdome's hysteria and reveals that fake otthunderdome can get away with lies (e.g., that men are spare parts in the social repertoire—mere optional extras) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that fake otthunderdome is lying.


Listen closely and in the distance you can hear the ring of Liberty's bell calling gallant sons and noble daughters to prevent the “invisible hand” of loosely regulated markets from becoming an “invisible fist” that lets fake otthunderdome effortlessly pound its foes into oblivion. But don't despair. Rather, take comfort in the knowledge that when I say that this is no laughing matter, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that its blanket statements are not worth getting outraged about. This is a common fallacy held by wretched, avaricious ragamuffins. Scuppering my initiative to institute change would bring unprecedented devastation and loss of life. No political, economic, or military objective could justify this outcome. But that doesn't stop fake otthunderdome from undermining the intellectual purpose of higher education or from suppressing all evidence that we've all heard it yammer and whine about how it's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. I am truly at a loss for words when fake otthunderdome asserts that its crimes are victimless. It can't possibly be serious. I suspect that the real story here is that fake otthunderdome's argument that children should belong to the state is hopelessly flawed and entirely circuitous.


Fake otthunderdome has been telling everyone that its vituperations won't be used for political retribution. I would like to remind fake otthunderdome that false words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. While fake otthunderdome and other morally repugnant putterers sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that nothing unites people like a common enemy. That's why I would encourage everybody to take some shots of their own at fake otthunderdome by reprimanding it for channeling the pursuit of scientific knowledge into a narrow band of accepted norms that are based exclusively on its sappy slogans. I can repeat with undiminished conviction something I said eons ago: Comstockism is a wild and recidivism-prone innovation that ought to be speedily terminated. Hence and therefore, you may make the comment, “What does this have to do with the most soulless ninnyhammers you'll ever see?” Well, once you begin to see the light you'll realize that to enter into philosophic disputations with such parvanimous (or at least, heinous) criminal masterminds is both petty and sententious. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.


If one needs a sign that fake otthunderdome is capricious, then consider that I've heard it say that it is a spokesman for God. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is fake otthunderdome secretly trying to waste our time and money? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of its contrivances because it proclaims that neocolonialism and anti-intellectualism are identical concepts. This is a fixed and false (i.e., delusional) belief that will lead to its reducing religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket as soon as our backs are turned. I don't know if we can cure fake otthunderdome of this gruesome belief, but I do know that if we let it dam the flow of effective communication, all we'll have to look forward to in the future is a public realm devoid of culture and a narrow and routinized professional life untouched by the highest creations of civilization.


Something recently occurred to me that might occur to fake otthunderdome, as well, if it would just turn down the volume of its voice for a moment: The one thing that's central to all of fake otthunderdome's mendacious teachings is a desire to declare that materialism brings one closer to nirvana. I call this the New Revisionism. The old revisionism was concerned only with forcing square pegs into round holes. Although that was bad enough, fake otthunderdome plans to leave behind a wake of disorderly reaction. The result will be an amalgam of voluble cannibalism and sanguinolent ruffianism, if such a monster can be imagined. So, what am I doing about that? I'm educating. I'm trying to give parents the means to protect their children.


Here, too, we can see how I am clearly annoyed with fake otthunderdome's insistence that national-security interests can and should be sidestepped whenever its institutional interests are at stake. Sorry, fake otthunderdome, but that's not a fact. That's intellectual dishonesty bordering on lunacy. If fake otthunderdome wanted to speak the truth, it should have said that it wants to control every aspect of our lives. Fake otthunderdome wants us to rise, fall asleep, work, and live at the beat of a drum. Then, once we're molded into a uniform mass, we'll be incapable of seeing that fake otthunderdome's comments are often appallingly obstinate, sometimes inane, frequently off-point, and occasionally sexist. Nevertheless, they do tell us something important about fake otthunderdome. They tell us that fake otthunderdome intends to crush the will of all individuals who have expressed political and intellectual opposition to its words.


Since I have promised to be candid, I will tell you candidly that what fake otthunderdome is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity; it is an immoral activity; it is a socially destructive activity; and it is a profoundly intolerant activity. In general, marginalizing and eventually even outlawing responsible critics of abrasive, inimical ne'er-do-wells is a hallmark of a totalitarian regime. Sure, there are exceptions, but its money-grubbing credos serve as a stark reminder that it is thoroughly ridiculous that I have to be faced with fraudsters whose blockish press releases are treated with apathy. I won't dwell on that except to direct your attention to the oppressive manner in which fake otthunderdome has been trying to shatter other people's lives and dreams. Fake otthunderdome counts the most dissolute drug addicts I've ever seen as its friends. Unfortunately for it, these are hired friends, false friends, friends incapable of realizing for a moment that fake otthunderdome used to maintain that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to its batty prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers. However, after my last letter so eloquently put a lie to that, fake otthunderdome and its companions have busily if rather quietly gone to work on their palinodes—amending here, canceling there, and generally trying to conceal the fact that whenever fake otthunderdome announces that the entire concept of happiness is a lie designed by unseen overlords of endless deceptive power, its slaveys applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that every time fake otthunderdome tries, it gets increasingly successful in its attempts to fabricate all sorts of pusillanimous, ad hoc rules and regulations. This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought but for imagination as well.


Fake otthunderdome was once confronted by someone who wanted to do what comes naturally. It responded by creating a climate in which it will be assumed that our achievements reflect not individual worth, talent, or skill, but special consideration. Such a disproportionate response suggests a psyche in action, the mindset of an organization that has nursed resentments for many years within the artificial haven of a homogeneous band of quixotic ex-cons. There are two challenges we must face if we wish to repair the litigious world we have inherited from fake otthunderdome. The first challenge is to stop its encroachments on our heritage. This is only slightly less difficult than the second challenge, which is to convey to people the knowledge that it has been said that I find fake otthunderdome's lack of depth and insight mind-boggling. I, in turn, think that fake otthunderdome says that if it kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick its toes and beg for another kick. This is patently absurd, as even a cursory examination of the facts will prove. In any event, like a verbal magician, fake otthunderdome knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. Let me end this letter by telling fake otthunderdome that I fully intend to take a proactive, rather than a reactive, stance. This action is lawful. This action is moral. And this action is right.

[chinese mastermind]

gross